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Tinder Pick up Lines – Funny Openers

There are 20 Million matches per day on Tinder, with so many funny pick up lines and cheesy openers being used on a daily basis.

We have picked out the best, funniest, worst and outright bad pick up lines. Please leave your rating so we can provide you the most popular pickup lines.

Best Tinder Pick up Lines…?

 


Best / Sex / Dirty / Good / Funny Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Mike – What’s the difference between me and my couch?

One’s more fun to sit on than the other- Sasha

Mike – Sort of. The real difference is that my couch pulls out

Lol you’re a naughty boy – Sasha


Best / Funny / Good / Funny / Christmas Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers

Jake – Moira, what do One Direction and Christmas Trees have in common?

No idea – Moira

Jake – Their balls are just for decoration


Best / Funny / Rude / Dirty / Sex / Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Joseph – What’s the difference between jam and jelly?

Ooh clever. Well I know the difference – Brittany

Joseph – And what is it?

Jam has whole fruit pieces – Brittany

Joseph – Nope. The real difference is that I can’t jelly my dick in your ass.


Funniest / Good / Dirty / Best / Sex / Funny Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Gab – Do you like dragons?

Sam – Sure

Gab – Good. Cuz I’m gonna be dragon my balls across your face tonight.


Best / Funny Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Frank – Know what I’d do if I could rearrange the alphabet?

? – Ashleigh

Frank – Put the D in U.


Best / funny Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Carlo – What’s the difference between you and school tomorrow?

What – Alicia

Carlo – I’m not gonna come into school tomorrow.


Best / Sex / Dirty / Clever / Funny Tinder Pick up Lines – Whisky & Tinder
Elijah – You know how they call 4 people having sex a foursome?

Right… – Kim

Elijah – And 3 people a threesome?

Sure – Kim

Elijah – Well they call me handsome!

Haha, funny – Kim



Best / Funny / Girl / Guy  Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Jose – Should be a model

I am haha thank you – Nastassia

Jose -Oh. I was talking about the dog you’re holding.


Best / Funny / Guys / Clever  Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Patrick – As a future doctor I’m usually pretty busy but I’m pretty sure I could have you pregnant by this afternoon.

As a future mechanical engineer I can think of about 7 ways to use household items to castrate you by this after noon – Ella


Best / Funny / Clever / Good Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Vince – One of my Easter eggs had no candy. It just said “you get Kendall’s number.”

Vince – You wouldn’t let Jesus down, would you?

Iol what eggs you’re hunting – Kendall

Vince – Yours.


Best / Funny / Clever / Clean Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Anthony – Hey Dina, do you like hang gliding?

Never tried it before but sure why – Dina

Anthony – I would love to see a Dina soar

Is that supposed to be funny? – Dina

Anthony – I thought it was Dina mite


Funny / Bad / Worst / Sex / Guys Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Jackson – I have been meaning to ask, do you have any experience raising chickens?

As a matter of fact yes? – Allison

Jackson – Well that’s great because, I have a large cock I was hoping you could help me with


Funny / Guys / Best / Clean Funny Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Angelo – Your name sounds like what a deaf lumberjack would shout.

Thanks asshole – Kember


Best / Funny / Girls / Funniest Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Adam – On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

North Korea – Rachel


Best / Funny / Clever / Sex / Dirty / Funniest Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Pete – Can you believe there’s going to be 7 planets left soon?!

Excuse me – Felicia

Pete – Yeah after I destroy Uranus


Best / Funny / Bad / Worst Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Vincent – Jess, I see you like horses…..

Vincent – That’s lucky, because you’ve just found yourself a stallion 😉


Best / Bad / Worst / Creepy / Funny Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Zeke – I like my women how I like my wine.

White & fruity? – Manasa

Zeke – No, 8 years old and locked in a cellar.


Best / Funny / Funniest / Girls / Guys Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Timothy – Do you like men with big cocks?

Yes – Annaliese

Timothy – Sorry I wasted your time.


Best / Funny / Guys / Girls Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Rudolph – If you were a vegetable, you would be a cutecumber.

Shut the fuck up with your stupid ass – Carley

Rudolph – If you were a vegetable, you would be a rudeabaga.


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Best / Funny /  Clever / Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Vic – If you remove the D from your name it’s an anagram for the word Arkansas

That’s a new one, lol – Kassandra

Vic – So I guess the question at this point is, do you want the D?


Best / Funny / Tinder / Christmas Pick up Lines and Openers

Alphonse – Jessie, if I were you I’d keep an eye out for elves with ropes and a blindfold

What does that even mean? – Jessie

Alphonse – It means I asked Santa for you this Christmas.


Best / Funny / Sex / Funniest / Tinder Pick up Lines and Openers
Daniel – Which sex position produces the ugliest kids?

Ugh idk? Lol –Nicole

Daniel – Ask your parents


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy / Clever / Clean
France – Ready for my best opening line?

France – Here it comes…

France – _________________________


Reddit Tinder – Best Pickup Lines


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy / Good/ Funny 
Thomas – Are you a middle eastern dictator? Because there is an uprising in my pants


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy / Bad / Worst
Jayson – My friend told me that he was going to a fancy dress party as an island. I told him “don’t be Scilly!”


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy / Good reply / Clean / Guys / Girls
Matthew – What cheese greets himself in the mirror?

Matthew – “Halloumi”

Which cheese isn’t yours? – Anna

Nacho cheese! – Anna


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy
Albert – How do you get a bear down from a tree?

Albert – Camembert


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy / Good / funniest / dirty
Roger – My dick is as hard as pavement right now.

Roger – it’s dat asphalt


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Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy / Bad / Worst 
Paul – Single mother of 1?

Yes sir – Erin

Paul – Want to be a single mother of 2?



Gilbert – Hey, the FBI is searching for my Dick, can I hide it inside you?

I’m sure it’s tough to find already – Nina


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy / Good / Dirty
Randell – Hey did you know that you could make a decent living selling hot dogs?

Randell – Because you really know how to make a wiener stand.


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy / Starwars / Funniest
Augustus – Are you a Jedi?

No why – Toller

Augustus – Cause yodalicious.


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy / Bad / Clever
Bret – If I kiss you will my allergies disappear?

Nice. – Allegra


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy / Good
Troy – Hello. I am a Nigerian Prince and I can make you rich beyond your wildest dreams! I just need your phone number.


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy / Good / Funniest / Dirty
Dale – Do you like CDs and Tapes?

I guess so – Maddi

Dale – Great, because im going to Tape my dick to you face so you can CDs balls


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy / Bad /Worst
Brade – Would you prefer to fight 100 duck size horses or 1 horse sized duck?


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Bad / Creepy
Niall – I like my women how I like my Pizza

And how would that be? – Denise

Niall – Sliced up in a box


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy / Good / Funny / 
Cormac – Are you Iraqi?

Cormac – Coz you should Baghdad ass up


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Bad / Guys / Creepy 
Mitch – I like my women how I like my groceries!

And how do you like your groceries Mitch? – Samantha

Mitch – In a bag in the trunk of my car.


Reddit Tinder Pick up Lines / Funniest / Great / Funniest
Brittany – You remind me of my baby toe, you’re small and cute. And I’m definitely going to bang you on a table some time.


Reddit Tinder – Dirty Pick up Lines Continues


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Cheesy / Good / Old School Adaptation
Matt – Roses are read, violets are blue, like the titanic I’m going down on you.


Reddit Tinder Pick up Lines / Cheeky / Good / Girls / Guys / 
Timothy – Are you flappy bird?

No? – Zara

Timothy – Well that’s a shame because I would really like to tap you al night.


Reddit Tinder Pick up Lines / Bad / Girls / Guys / Mermaid
Elon – Damn gurl are you from the ocean?

Yeah I’m a mermaid – Cara

Elon – Wrong, cause u a whale.


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Clever / Great / Funniest / Good / Best 
Heath – I guess you can call me winter.

Heath – Because you’ll always cum before me.

Well played sir, well played – Autumn


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Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Bad / Insult / Guys
Peter – Hi

Hey- Meg

Peter – Shut up Meg


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Bad / Insult
Gerald – I’m not even gonna give you a creative pickup line cuz I’m really just trying to Ramya

Wow, really? – Ramya


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Bad / Sex / Guys / Girls 
Hillary – Hey whats up

I have one ball, I hope that’s cool – Donald

Hillary – Do u really?

Only one way to find out – Donald


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Opener / Sex / Girls
Hannah – flipping a coin, to give you my number or to not give you my number

I’m chasing tails but getting heads would be okay too – EJ


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Bad / Insult / Creepy
Sam – Truth or Dare

I’ll go with truth to start – Bethany

Sam – What is your spirit animal?

Hmm, probably a bulldog. What about you?- Bethany

Sam – Whatever animal has sex with bulldogs


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Hooker / Bad / Dead / Sex 
Jemi – I was once arrested in Thailand

Because you didn’t pay your hooker? – Laura

Jemi – No. Of course not. You don’t have to pay them when they’re dead


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Bad Timing / Insult / Sex 
Nadja – My best friend killed herself last night I don’t really wanna talk sorry.

If I wrote you a song to make you feel better, you can just Nadja head to it? – Nick


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Funny / Sex / Clever 
Mari –I heard you’re looking for a stud. I’ve got the STD; all I need is U.


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Bad / Insult
Patrick – Sorry, thought you were the other girl in the profile pic. Ask her can I have her number please


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Bad / Dirty / Sex 

Kris – 😉

Oh you’re dirty – Sydney

Kris – Please this isn’t nearly as dirty as I get

Oh is that right? – Sydney

Kris – You want a teaser?

Of course I do – Sydney

Kris – I’ll shit on you

Eewwwww- Sydney


Reddit Tinder Pickup Lines / Simple / Oldschool / Funny / Sex 

Micheal – Roses are red, violets are blue, You be the six, I’ll be the nine


Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
George – Do you eat ass?

Not my thing – Kalyn

George – Oh well I do

George – What’s your number?


More Funny Tinder Specials


Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Joseph – Is the rest of you as pretty as your eyes?

That’s for you to decide – Sarah

Joseph – Yeah I don’t think it is


Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Christian – I would drag my balls through 1000 miles of broken glass across the Sahara desert, with Rosie Odonnells queef as my only air supply, just so I could hear you fart though a walkie-talkie


Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Jose – Do you have pet insurance?

No – Samantha

Jose – You should get some because I’m gonna destroy your pussy.


Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Erick- Is your dad in jail? Cus if I was your dad I’d be in jail



Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Christopher – I once chopped down a tree by only using a rule and dental floss

Wow – Christine

Christopher – Yeah it’s one of two things I’m good at

And the other – Christine

Christopher – I’m also great in bed


Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Prince – Wow I can’t believe they actually let me use this app from jail!


Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Jom – All I’m missing is a little spoon

Too bad I’m a big spoon – Nam

Jom – Snuggle me in your strong protective arms and tell me I’m pretty.

Jom – One day we can tell our grandkids that the only reason they’re around is because I deeply deployed in Nam.


Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Jess – Hey there!

Hey. I want to smear you in green paint and spank you like a disobedient avocado. – Jim


Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Joey – What does coffee and pussy have in common?

Umm idk what? – Jane

Joey –They both know how to get me up in the morning.


Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Tien – Girl you must be rl stine because you give me goosebumps


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Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Marzial – Want to grab some lunch? We could get some chicken nguyets!

Well, that’s new – Nguyet


Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Ashley – Is that Ryan in your picture?

It is, how do you know him? – Shawn

Ashley – He took a shit in my car.


Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Todd – You up for 2 minutes of mediocre sex followed by 30 minutes of crying?


Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Cassondra – Are you the SAT, Cause I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a ten minute break in the middle for snacks.


Best Tinder Pickup Lines / Dirty / Sex
Rick –A Persian guy tried to fight me once

Then he’s dumb – Mahtan

Rick – I guess so but I did what I had to do.

Lol what did you do? – Mathan

Rick – Iran.


Best Tinder Pickup Lines
Frankie – This is my opening line

Frankie – ——————————–

Very clever wise guy – Elijah.


Best Tinder Pickup Lines
Scott – Helena, you’ve got the sweetest smile on Tinder.

Scott – If you’re a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber.

If you were a person you’d have downs – Helena

Scott – I take that back, if you were a vegetable. I’d pull the plug.


Best Tinder Pickup Lines
Natasha – What came first, the chicken or the egg?

If you hung with me you’d prob cum first – Bolt


Best Tinder Pickup Lines
Ericka – Are you a beaver because… Damnnnnnnnnnnn


Best Tinder Pickup Lines
Anton – How about I take a couple letters off and make you Moan?

How about I add a few letters and make you die? – Morgan

Anton – What letters are you thinking? Six more and you’d have mangled organ.


Best Tinder Pickup Lines
Luke – How much of your butthole would you be willing to show me?

I’ll show you my dog’s butthole – Fiona



Best Tinder Pickup Lines
Maekell – What would you be called if you were wrapped in baked pastry?

Maekell – An EmpaNada

Hahahha- Nada

Go away –Nada

Maekell – Wow that reaction was not impressive at all

Maekell – Nadatall


Best Tinder Pickup Lines
Ivan – Where the fuck are you and how did we match 7300 miles away?!

I’m looking for Wilson in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Just because Tom Hanks left him there doesn’t mean I have to – Genevieve


Best Tinder Pickup Lines
Drew – If you were a transformer you’d be a Hot-o-bot and your name would be Optimus Fine.


Best Tinder Pickup Lines
Lachie – Did you fall from heaven because let’s have sex.


Best Tinder Pickup Lines
Justin – How do you kill a frog?

Justin- You don’t it Kermits suicide


Best Tinder Pick up Lines / Guys
Nikko – What’s a smart, attractive, young…. Man like myself doing without your number?


Best Tinder Pickup Lines
Andrew – Lets make sex

How high are your results with that tinder line? – Joyce

Andrew – I’ve done the sex in three women from it. One might have been a man.


Best Tinder Pick up Lines
Lucas – What weighs more, 60 lbs of feathers or 40 lbs of bricks?

Books? – Yesenia

Lucas – Yep, books


Best Tinder Pickup Lines
Hillary – Hey

You’re too cute – Tony

Stop it – Tony

Hillary – Haha well thank you

Can I snapchat you pictures of my dick now?- Tony


Best Tinder Pick up Lines
Freddie – Are you just a small town girl living in a lonely world?

Just trying to find emotion yes – Linxi

Freddie – THAT’S NOT HOW THE FUCKING SONG GOES


Best Tinder Pick up Lines
Greg – If I sent Special D, would you accept my package?

I refuse to sign for anything that small – Lexi


Best Tinder Pick up Lines
Bryle – Hi I just got of prison and my parents changed the locks so I could really use a place to stay

Bryle – You’re cute by the way.


Best Tinder Pick up Lines
Kristoph – If your right leg was Christmas, and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?

I’m Jewish – Alexa


Aimee – If I told you I worked for UPS, would you let me handle your package?

As long as it doesn’t end with a delivery in nine months – Mike


Best Tinder Pickup Lines
Aaron – Do you ever look up at the stars and wander about all the amazing things in this world? Like why the letter D is in ‘Fridge’ but not in ‘Refrigerator’?

Lol No I suppose I havent – Mary

Aaron – Well there is no ‘D’ in Mary but I can definitely change that


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